it's abit of a rush.. but i thought i had better pen this down before the feelings slip away.
i am disturbed. already disturbed in the midst of dinner yesterday, when somehow the feeling that something "isnt right" crept up on my shoulders. & stayed there. & when the details were revealed, i actually felt this clamming up of my chest, reinforcing what i was feeling. i felt this urge to reveal what i'm feeling to someone. to Krissy, maybe? but not to her, who needed to hear it most. becos she will feel that i'm judging her. but am i??
i really asked myself this question, several times over. but i was feeling "wrong" even before all the details were revealed, right? she is so "into" the messages from her guides, the readings from Lena. so much that she is like an ultra-fan gone crazy. crazy with stubborness. so blindly bewildered that any thing one says vaguely to the contrary will be shot down. & i dont want to be rude. oh, & did i mention? she's taking the part where Lena says she is meant to be a spiritual teacher abit too obsessively. *rolls eyes*
when i finally had the chance to tell Krissy what i was feeling, i dont know whether it was relief i felt that she had the same thoughts, or even more fear for her that we are both getting the same negative messages from our guides. that clammy chill. *brrr*.. Krissy says she feels that things will take a sudden twist as the dateline deadline of 3 months approaches. what i feel, is that the 3 month period is a quiet timeout for her to start loving herself, to be totally comfortable with herself, & to find real spiritual friends for her own path progression. so that one day when the eventual fatality looms, she will be strong enough to handle it. i am also confused. becos it's none of my business, really. but i really dont know whether for it to come true, or not, would be a better answer for her. glad i'm not a healer. hah!
this morning, walking back after breakfast with the hub. as i approached Courts with their panels of tvs & i saw my own reflection in one of them. i thought, one of her guides is also Guan Yin. i dont know much about Mother Mary, but i know Guan Yin. will she be a guide who encourages someone to go after another woman's husband, even if them 2 are truely soulmates? i am sure finding your soulmate would be the best possible thing to happen, & that both souls would sing & live happily ever after. BUT we have to take the long view. we have to take the view that we are not just here for THIS lifetime. that there are other lifetimes for us to learn our life lessons & to progress on our spiritual paths. not being with our soulmate in THIS lifetime, does not damn us to hell for eternity. whether separately or together, we have our individual lessons to learn & our own paths to progress, & forcing the supposedly "right" choice here might damn us with repercussions in the next. that's what i still believe, karma.
